Yearly Scleroderma Testing: HRCT Scan

 As you know, I have been working on getting all of my yearly Scleroderma tests done and taken care of.  It's not been easy for me to get these done with my extreme medical anxiety.  The most "normal" test will give me days and days of anxiety, even if I know it's going to be a simple and painless procedure.  Poor Michael doesn't know how to calm my anxiety down, so he does nothing at all, which makes it a bit worse.  At least he tries to be there for me.  That's more than some people in my life will do for me.

The HRCT scan was scheduled for August 15th.  I had to reschedule it several times over the last month due to my anxiety and scheduling conflicts.  I finally got it done on that date.  It was a day that I had therapy group prior to my scheduled test.  I went to group and hardly said a word the entire time, mainly because my anxiety was through the roof.  I'm good at masking, so most people don't even know to ask me if I'm okay and that's my fault, not theirs.  

Michael went with me to help me with my anxiety.  We got to the testing location and checked in for the appointment, then we waited in the lobby for a few minutes.  They got me back there much sooner than the scheduled appointment time.  Of course, it helps that I go everywhere a bit early.  I hate to be late to anything, especially a medical appointment.  

When they called me back, they had a problem with Michael coming with me, so I had to advocate for myself (it felt more like I was fighting for my life).  Ultimately, the technician let Michael come to help me get ready.  I shouldn't have to explain it, but once I let them know that I needed his help changing and getting ready for the test, they begrudgingly allowed my request.  When people look at me, they don't think that I already have trouble dressing and with hygiene, but I do.  Michael has to help me get dressed each and every day.  It's frustrating for both of us as it is.  I don't need the added embarrassment of sharing that with a perfect stranger who is already judging me for needing my caregiver with me!

Once I was ready for the test, Michael stayed in the changing area and I went into the scan room, as they called it.  I was placed onto a table facing what looked just like an MRI machine.  I was not handling it very well at all, but I persevered, at least for another few minutes.  That's all that I could promise myself.  I have severe claustrophobia and that was freaking me out.  I laid down on the table and was moved into the machine.  My legs were sticking out the other side, so it wasn't as awful as an MRI is, but I still did not enjoy this test at all.  I opened my eyes and saw the edge of the tube was right in my face, so I closed my eyes, did the anchor symbol on my hands, told myself to relax and took some deep meditation breaths to get through it.  All I could think of was how proud Lori was going to be that I was using my tools out in the wild!  I was right; she was incredibly proud of me when I got to tell her about it.  

The first part of the test was scanning my lungs from the front of my body.  Afterwards, we had to scan my lungs from the backside of my body.  This part was easier on me because I could not see how tiny the machine was.  Again, I just closed my eyes and worked on my breathing and anchoring so that I could get through this test once and for all!  In all, the test only took about 10 - 15 minutes.  It was nowhere near as bad as I thought that it was going to be.  The biggest problem I had was with the technician's attitude when I said that I needed my caregiver to be there.  

Once the test was done, the technician helped me off of the table, took me back to the room to put my bra back on, then told me that the results would be in within a week.  I got my clothes back on and left the testing location.  I was in a bit of a mood because of feeling like I had to argue for my right to have my caregiver with me.  Michael took me home and made everything better when we got there.  He gave me the care and attention that I needed after putting myself through the test.  

The worst part of having tests done for me is the wait for the results.  The results literally took an entire week to be processed, which is unheard of with MultiCare.  Most of my test results are back within a day or two, even faster for bloodwork.  When my results came in, they came with a message from my Primary Care Physician saying, "Ariel, you are beautiful inside and out.  No issues with lungs at this time."  That message was the best possible thing I could have gotten after a week of worrying about these results.  I looked at the results and every single thing that they checked was perfect.  There was not one single issue anywhere in the report.  Now, my rheumatologist has this test for my baseline, so if something changes, they will see the original compared to the new scans.  This test was supposed to be done 7 years ago when I was first diagnosed!  It took that long for a rheumatologist to finally order the test for me.  

I'm just so grateful and relieved that nothing is wrong with my lungs.  I have been having some symptoms that made me hurry up and get this test done, but it showed nothing.  I'm grateful that it showed nothing, but I'm still concerned about these symptoms that I've been having lately.  I have phlegm and wheezing going on.  It's getting more and more difficult to deal with.  I still have one more Scleroderma test to complete and that is the PFT (Pulmonary Function Test).  It is also a test of the lungs and respiratory system, so if there is something going on with my lungs, this test will certainly pick it up.  I call the PFT the visit to the upright coffin.  My claustrophobia hates that test almost as much as I hate an MRI.  They are both awful!