Ariel's Two Cents

Life with BPD has gotten...interesting...to say the least.  I have struggled with it quite a bit lately, but I'm working through it.  My symptoms have seemed a bit out of control lately and my splitting episodes have been frequent.  I did go three days without a split, but that streak ended this morning.  I have been triggered by several different things lately, and I am still learning how to cope with triggers and the splitting episodes that follow.  I have been a mess lately. I had a truly awful split on Sunday night.  It may have been the worst one yet.  I don't remember much about it now, just bits and pieces.  I know that it was so bad that it pushed my husband to snap.  It made him behave in a way that he has never done in the 18+ years that we have been together.  Michael is one of the least violent people I have ever known, but he was almost pushed past the point of no return that night.  I lost my ever-loving mind and was t...

 I'm not having the best day today.  Hell, I'm not having the best week of my life.  I think I need to write about it so that I can let it go.  Writing is usually very therapeutic for me.  I don't know why, but it's always been that way for me.  I've kept a journal since I was a small child.  I always wanted to be a writer, though not necessarily a "famous writer".  Now, I'm actually writing a book!  We'll see if it gets published. I've been feeling pretty down (physically) since Friday evening.  I slept well that night.  I got almost 9 hours of sleep and almost felt rested in the morning.  Unfortunately, that was the last decent night's sleep I've gotten.  Saturday and Sunday mornings, I woke up at 3 am, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to take on the day.  I suspect a manic cycle coupled with painsomnia .  I was in pain each morning when I woke up at 3 am, so it makes sense that painsomnia had something to d...