Ariel's Two Cents

 My mental health has been a wild ride lately.  As you likely know, I was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) last month by my therapist, Lori.  The diagnosis has hit me pretty hard and I'm still struggling to deal with it.  I still can't even admit it to certain people.  Nobody understands what it's like to get hit with a diagnosis like this.  The realization that the trauma from my childhood permanently altered my personality is a hard pill to swallow, you know?  I haven't given up on myself yet, though, so I have that going for me. I've had a busy therapy schedule lately.  I've been going at least 4 times per week.  I have two groups with Lori and a one-on-one session every week.  Then, I have a relationship group with Angela, the other clinician that I work with.  Both of these therapists have been immensely helpful for my healing journey.  Lori is my trauma therapist, and she is amazing and teaches me lot...

 I guess it's time for another update about my autoimmune life.  I've had another medical emergency this past week.  Tuesday night, I took my first dose of Carbamazepine for my Bipolar mood swings .  I had an appointment scheduled with the prescribing doctor the next morning, Wednesday.  Well, when I woke up Wednesday morning, I had a rash starting on my chest.  When I met with the doctor, we decided to stop the medication, which I had already decided that without his input as soon as I saw the rash starting.  We decided to just get back to a more natural state for now and will discuss adding a new medication on our next appointment.  He told me what allergic reactions to look for and a sore throat was one of the things that he mentioned.  I woke up Thursday morning with a sore throat and the rash was much, much worse than the night before.   After doing a bit of research, I decided that it would be best if I went to Urgent Care ag...

 I'm having another rest day, and I am not particularly happy about it.  Rest days are still an uphill battle for me.  I am one of the people who has been forced to believe that they only have value when they are productive members of society.  After a lifetime of being told, in no uncertain terms, that it is unacceptable to be unproductive, it's nearly impossible to allow yourself to rest.  This is where I am at now.  I know that my body needs to rest, but my mind will not allow it.  Even when I'm lying down to rest, my brain is going a million miles a minute.  I have Bipolar II and am currently in a hypomanic phase , so resting with racing thoughts is becoming even more difficult than before.   Today's rest day is brought to us courtesy of frying chicken last night.  You got it!  All I did all day long was fry chicken for an hour in the evening, and I am in so much pain today that I can hardly even get out of bed.  I wa...