Ariel's Two Cents

 I'm not having the best day, so I think a venting session is in order.  Nobody pissed me off this time, besides my pain levels.  I woke up this morning with a lot of joint and muscle pain.  I'm assuming that it's another Fibromyalgia flare and I hate those worse than the other types of flares that I get.  A Fibromyalgia flare is difficult for me to ascertain as the pain and other symptoms are exceedingly similar to a Scleroderma flare .  It's difficult to keep them all straight on flare days.  It's a sad existence because when one disease or condition is not flaring, there is always another condition starting a flare.  I never get a day off from my autoimmune life. I didn't go to sleep until late last night and I'm sure that is affecting my pain level.  My pain is always higher on days with less sleep.  My body seems to need at least 8 - 9 hours of sleep to combat my autoimmune diseases, but I rarely get that these days.  I have ...

 I've been on the move for weeks now, but I finally managed to carve out a day for some rest.  It doesn't happen often in my life, but occasionally a day of rest will manifest itself.  I'm grateful when it does happen.  Michael is off work today and for once, we don't have any appointments to attend to.  Normally, we would have my therapy appointment this afternoon, but Lori is out of the country for the next 5 weeks, so I am kind of on my own for getting through any mental hangups that may arise.  I think Michael is enjoying not taking me to town today.  I know it gets overwhelming for him when he literally never gets a day to rest.  No human body can tolerate that for very long.  Instead, we are spending the day together and catching up on some chores around the house. I slept 9 hours last night and the night before, but my body is still screaming at me.  It frustrates me when I get a lot of hours of sleep, but I still feel fatigued....

 Yesterday was a stressful day for me, but I survived it.  I had too many appointments scheduled that day, so I had to miss out on my group therapy session, and I hate when I miss out on any opportunity for growth and progress of my healing journey.  However, it was important that I attend the other appointment.  It was a follow-up appointment with my neurologist, Dr. Jennifer Rock.  She has been treating my migraines for about a year now.  I have been on Emgality  since last May and it's just not working out for me.  Yesterday's appointment was the day I chose to advocate for myself, and it was not a simple feat for me. When the doctor started my appointment, I explained to her some of the problems that I'm having like the high number of migraines I'm experiencing every month.  I get over 20 migraines a month and that is while I have been on Emgality for a year.  It has never gotten any better as far as the quantity of migraines is conc...

 I'm doing a thing today and it's kind of scary, but I'm doing it anyway.  I am facing one of my biggest fears, which is being alone for any extended period of time.  This is one of my mental health goals that I am working on with my therapist, Lori.  I've been with her for 6 months now and this is the first time I have had a chance to try to be alone.  I know she's going to love to hear about this tomorrow during my one-on-one session with her. I had massive anxiety this morning that led to a meltdown before Michael left for work.  Any time that I have anxiety, I tend to nag and nitpick those around me, especially Michael.  I don't mean to do it, but once I get triggered, I can't figure out how to stop it.  The words just come out of my mouth.  It's awful and it makes me hate myself for the things that I say when I am triggered.  Nobody deserves to be spoken to like that, no matter what.  This is one of the many things that is on m...