Ariel's Two Cents

 It's time for an autoimmune update post!  I saw my primary care doctor, Cassandra, yesterday afternoon.  I had to update her on so many different things that I nearly forgot half of it.  Thankfully, Michael was at the appointment with me, so he was able to make sure the things that I forgot about would be mentioned.  This is why it is critically important for support people to be allowed into these appointments.  Most of us with autoimmune disease also have some form of brain fog at the same time.  It's difficult to live with it and even more difficult to manage your chronic illnesses when you're dealing with brain fog, too. Before Cassandra left for a two-week vacation, she messaged me and told me to behave while she was away.  It was a perfectly normal comment for us as we tend to joke about my health and body always causing issues.  She always jokes with love in her heart, never to be mean, rude or disrespectful.  She knows when it'...

  Painsomnia ...  Easily one of the most-hated aspects of my autoimmune life.  It hit me at 3 am today.  I woke up with excruciating pain ripping through my entire body.  My bedroom was too cold, and my blankets had been stolen from me.  I woke up to try and get myself warm again, but by then, my pain was too high, and it was too late for me to go back to sleep.  I asked Michael to help me get a cup of coffee (which he does every morning and never has an issue with it) and to grab my pain medication for me.  I keep it in what I call the "control bag" which is a medication bag with a combination lock on it, to keep everyone out of my controlled medications.  Michael doesn't even have the combination to it, so it's quite secure.  He got up and made the coffee, got my medications and computer for me, then promptly went back to sleep, which I have no problem with.  That is what he does every day.  It's our "normal" routine, so this...

 I'm not Christian, but like many non-religious households in America, we partake in certain elements of the traditions that most of us were a part of as children.  This is no different for my family.  This weekend was Easter Weekend, and although we did not attend any religious services, we did have a family get-together.  My son who has unofficially moved out, came home and brought his girlfriend with him.  We just love her to death, so this was not a problem at all!  I wasn't able to afford the traditional Easter meal, and the kids all wanted fried chicken instead, so I chose to "go with the flow" and make the meal that they all wanted.  I mean, it's not often that they all agree on anything, let alone the holiday meal, so I went with it.  Interestingly enough, "go with the flow" was my intention on Insight Timer yesterday, so it was fitting that the day went the way that it did.  I was given ample opportunity to utilize my intention for t...

 I'm doing a thing today and it's kind of scary, but I'm doing it anyway.  I am facing one of my biggest fears, which is being alone for any extended period of time.  This is one of my mental health goals that I am working on with my therapist, Lori.  I've been with her for 6 months now and this is the first time I have had a chance to try to be alone.  I know she's going to love to hear about this tomorrow during my one-on-one session with her. I had massive anxiety this morning that led to a meltdown before Michael left for work.  Any time that I have anxiety, I tend to nag and nitpick those around me, especially Michael.  I don't mean to do it, but once I get triggered, I can't figure out how to stop it.  The words just come out of my mouth.  It's awful and it makes me hate myself for the things that I say when I am triggered.  Nobody deserves to be spoken to like that, no matter what.  This is one of the many things that is on m...