Ariel's Two Cents

I finally had a chance to talk to my therapist about what went down at the doctor's office last week and the positive High-Risk HPV from that exam.  I don't know why, but I always feel so much better after talking to Lori.  She has a motherly energy, and I just love talking to her, no matter what we're talking about.  She's not judgmental in the least and almost always has a solution to whatever I am dealing with.  This time around, she may have a referral to a doctor that will help me get the hysterectomy.  I'll get more information about that later this week.   As part of my therapy, Lori asked me to tell her what happened at the doctor's office.  I struggled to verbalize it, which is not a new problem for me, unfortunately.  I was able to tell her about Michael deciding for me that I should just get the exam done while we were already there.  I told her about the doctor being kind enough to use lidocaine, although it was still painful...

I've had time to sit with some heavy emotions since yesterday, but I think I'm doing better today, at least somewhat better.  I did some research and spoke to a friend who knows more than I do about HPV .  My conversation with them was extremely beneficial for my mental health.  My tests are negative for HPV-16 and HPV-18 , which are the more concerning strains.  I feel better knowing that.  With the way my tests are looking right now, I might be okay, but I am still going to pursue the hysterectomy .  I am currently looking for the information I need to start the process.  My primary care physician, Cassandra, is already on-board with anything and everything that I need help with.  She is, by far, the best doctor I have ever had, and I've had a lot of doctors over the years.  She listens to her patients, and she does not gaslight them at all.  She has never made me feel any kind of negativity from her, either.  She is just a joy t...

I got some bad news today and although it's terribly personal, I feel I must share it here.  This is my blog, after all, and the sole reason I created it was to have somewhere to put all of the updates and concerns in my autoimmune life.  I got a big one today and I am not coping with it at all!  Here goes nothing... You probably remember me writing about the pelvic exam and pap smear on Monday.  The test results came in today and it's not terrible, but it's not good either.  I tested positive for High-Risk HPV - again!  This is a battle that I have been having since 2003, when I was 19 years old.  I have only had two normal pap smears in my entire life and that was in 2017 and 2020.  I had the LEEP procedure in 2012 and that was supposed to "cure" it.  I use the word "cure" cautiously as there is so much attached to the word.  Until today, I didn't know that it could "resurface" as my doctor put it.   I have had an extensive...