Ariel's Two Cents

 My mental health has been a wild ride lately.  As you likely know, I was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) last month by my therapist, Lori.  The diagnosis has hit me pretty hard and I'm still struggling to deal with it.  I still can't even admit it to certain people.  Nobody understands what it's like to get hit with a diagnosis like this.  The realization that the trauma from my childhood permanently altered my personality is a hard pill to swallow, you know?  I haven't given up on myself yet, though, so I have that going for me. I've had a busy therapy schedule lately.  I've been going at least 4 times per week.  I have two groups with Lori and a one-on-one session every week.  Then, I have a relationship group with Angela, the other clinician that I work with.  Both of these therapists have been immensely helpful for my healing journey.  Lori is my trauma therapist, and she is amazing and teaches me lot...

 Today was supposed to be a big day in my healing journey, but that is not the way things went, after all.  I had an in-person therapy session scheduled for 1 pm today.  It was to be the first of many EMDR reprocessing sessions.  I have been terribly nervous about this all week long and it came to a head this morning.  I woke up with a lot of anxiety and could not use my anxiety medication due to the effects it will have on the EMDR.  This was hugely difficult for me this morning and part of the reason that I had started to melt down.  Michael was not as helpful as I had hoped that he would be, but I'll deal with him later.  After a calm conversation, he will likely be more understanding.  I hope so, anyway.  In the midst of me freaking out about not being able to take my medication, I got a text message from Lori letting me know that she needed to do our session from her home today, which meant online instead of in-person.  When I ...