Ariel's Two Cents

Life with BPD has gotten...interesting...to say the least.  I have struggled with it quite a bit lately, but I'm working through it.  My symptoms have seemed a bit out of control lately and my splitting episodes have been frequent.  I did go three days without a split, but that streak ended this morning.  I have been triggered by several different things lately, and I am still learning how to cope with triggers and the splitting episodes that follow.  I have been a mess lately. I had a truly awful split on Sunday night.  It may have been the worst one yet.  I don't remember much about it now, just bits and pieces.  I know that it was so bad that it pushed my husband to snap.  It made him behave in a way that he has never done in the 18+ years that we have been together.  Michael is one of the least violent people I have ever known, but he was almost pushed past the point of no return that night.  I lost my ever-loving mind and was t...

 I have not had the best day, and I think that a venting session might be helpful.  My day was doomed from the very moment it started.  Actually.  That is not correct.  It was doomed when I had an awful night last night.  I was in an excruciating amount of pain and that was stopping me from sleeping.  I tossed and turned and begged for help for hours before I finally decided to take a clonazepam to help me sleep.  I rarely take those tablets.  I do not care for them at all, and they cause me cardiac distress the following day.  My doctor prescribes 10 of them at a time and that lasts me about 3 - 4 months.  I'm not even exaggerating.  I pick them up when I do my quarterly pain management appointments.  The clonazepam took until around 2 am to put me to sleep and when it did, I slept like the dead until my 6:30 am alarm woke me up.  I turned it off (without realizing that's what I did) and went back to sleep until my n...